Skip to main content

Posts

The Ego's Biggest Lie: You Were Never Small

Your ego has one lie it tells better than any other. Not that you're special. That you're small. You know the moment. Someone talks and the room goes quiet because of how sure they sound. Someone makes something and you stop scrolling to look at it twice. And a voice in your head goes, "I wish I had that." Not admiration. Ache. We treat that ache like proof we're missing something, so we get on the treadmill. Add a trait here, fix a flaw there, become the version of us that finally has what everyone else seems to have been born with. Nobody stops to ask the obvious question: why that trait, and not some other one? Why does one person get wrecked by someone else's courage, while you get wrecked by someone else's wisdom? Long before self-improvement became a content category, the Chandogya Upanishad had a phrase for this exact ache. Tat Tvam Asi. You are that. Not "you can become that." Not "you're a broken vessel that has to ...
Recent posts

I Tracked Every Habit for 30 Days—Here's What Actually Changed

Let me get one thing out of the way first: I didn't do this to go viral, or to become a better version of myself overnight, or because I read some aesthetically pleasing blog that told me to. I did it because I was slipping. Slowly. Quietly. Like when you're on a moving escalator, but it's going down and you're standing still. I'm Kunal. 23. Night shift CAD drafter. I sit in an office from 6:30 PM to 3:30 AM, mostly pretending to work while trying not to lose my mind. When you live like that long enough, the line between boredom and burnout gets real blurry. So I started tracking. Not because I wanted to change the world, but because I needed to feel like I still existed in it. Here's how it went down. The Setup No fancy apps. Just Google Sheets, a Notion dashboard, and a brain running on caffeine and chronic lower back pain. I picked 10 habits to track: Waking up before noon Not smoking Stretching for 15 minutes Drinking 3L of water 20 minutes of reading 1 new ...

What Quitting Cigarettes Taught Me About Control (That Google Never Will)

There wasn’t a dramatic day. No chest pain. No crying girlfriend ultimatum. No temple vow or “last puff” moment under cinematic rain. Just me—standing outside my office, holding a cigarette and realizing I didn’t want to be this person anymore. Not in a tragic way. Just in a quiet, "I think I’m done with this version of myself" way. I’ve quit smoking twice before. Both times felt serious. Both times failed. The first time, I quit for my mother. Made a big vow, all the emotional drama included. Stayed clean for a month. Then cracked. Because, surprise: external guilt has an expiry date. The second time, I quit after a trip to the mountains. I meditated in front of a Shiva idol in the silence of Nainital and told myself: "No cigarettes until you’ve got a government job or earn ₹50K a month." It worked for a while—until my logic brain showed up and said, "Well technically you’ve kinda achieved that, so…" Cue: relapse. ✋ This time is different. ...

The Thinkers Who Rewired My Brain: From Kabir to Camus

I didn’t wake up one day and become “the reflective guy.” It sort of happened between late-night walks, broken routines, poor decisions, and a few YouTube spirals that hit a little too deep. It started with Kabir , actually. Not in a temple. Not in a schoolbook. Just one of those random verses you read and suddenly feel like someone just diagnosed your soul in one sentence. “maya-maya sab kahe , maya lakhe na koi jo man se na utare, maya kahiye soye”   It hit me different. Still does. The idea that you can care without being attached , be aware without performing , and exist without belonging to either side . Kabir made solitude feel like a choice, not a punishment. Made detachment feel warm, not hollow. Then came Shwetabh Gangwar . Yes, the YouTuber. Don’t roll your eyes. I wasn’t looking for a guru, I was just bored. But the way he explained “decision-making as a skill” or “not being emotionally available to nonsense” felt like someone finally gave words to ...

🧾 Why I Don’t Take EMIs (And Probably Never Will)

I don’t take EMIs. Not for phones. Not for bikes. Not even for the stuff I’ve wanted for years. Not because I’m rich. Not because I’m frugal. And definitely not because I’m one of those minimalist finance influencers drinking matcha under a bamboo roof. It’s something I read once—years ago, somewhere forgettable—but it stuck to my brain like a moral law: “If you have to take an EMI for it, it means you can’t afford it.” And honestly? I’ve stood by it ever since. 📉 Why EMIs Feel Like Emotional Debt Here’s the thing I’ve noticed: It’s not just the money that EMIs take from you—it’s the joy . I’ve seen people buy something big on EMI—a phone, a car, a bike—and for the first few weeks, sure, they’re glowing. But then? The newness wears off. The product becomes just... a thing. And yet— the payments remain. Month after month, they’re still paying for something that’s no longer exciting. No longer special. Sometimes, even slightly annoying. That’s the p...

💸 How I Built a Personal Finance Tracker During a Night Shift (and Accidentally Got My Life Together)

  I didn’t plan to become the guy who builds Excel trackers at 2:47 AM. But when the office is dead quiet and your brain is buzzing with that subtle anxiety of “where the hell is my money even going?”, you either spiral… or you build. So I built. This post is a step-by-step guide to the tracker I use to log, analyze, and emotionally recover from my financial choices. If you’ve got Excel (or Google Sheets) and an ounce of motivation, you can recreate this for yourself. No fancy apps. No finance bros. Just formulas, honesty, and maybe a little existential dread.

Working the Night Shift: Productivity, Existentialism, and Office Ghost Vibes

Nighttime brings forth a different reality that emerges from slumbering humanity.  The fluorescent buzz guides your way while empty corridors turn into reflective paths and regular office environment turns into a mystical place.  The night shift worker's world combines productivity with introspection while the professional and profound elements start to merge together. 🕯️ The Night Shift Life: A Different Kind of Quiet Nighttime brings a unique type of silence which cannot be duplicated by day. The quiet during nighttime becomes more than a soundless environment because each small noise becomes meaningful on this silent background. My first nights at work I thought would bring me isolation. Solitude presented itself in an uncommon way. The nocturnal journey becomes enhanced through the constant wall clock ticking and building ventilation whir and sporadic distant siren sounds which serve as the night's companions. Workday hours force us to juggle numerous immediate tasks and ...